Thrumm by Martin Edwards

Author:Martin Edwards
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Fast Print Publishing

Meeting Bleet

Kevin ambled around inside what appeared, at the end of the day, to be a large goldfish bowl. He had left the other human goldfish debating the merits or otherwise of being pets. As Kevin bumped unsuspectingly into a transparent wall, he looked up and saw one of Stroob’s cowgirls. Kevin waved through the wall at the girl who smiled shyly and pointed to a door at the end of the bowl. Walking towards the door, Kevin saw an illuminated patch on the wall. He pushed the patch, the door slid open and Kevin walked quickly through.

He was hit immediately by a wall of hot air and the sound of pounding surf. His feet sunk into warm pure white sand. The girl walked towards him, her hair blowing in the sea breeze which also ruffled the tassels on her leather miniskirt.

‘’Ello,’ said Kevin, for once in his life lost for words when talking to a girl. ‘My name’s Kevin.’

‘I know,’ said the girl, smiling gently and lowering her eye.

‘Oh… er… wha’s yours?’ he added, looking around in amazement as a palm tree strolled by.

‘Bleet,’ replied the lithe girl, tossing her hair in the wind.

‘What an… um… lovely name,’ said Kevin, knowing that he sounded pathetic but at the same time desperately wanting to avoid saying anything that could be identified with any animals, be they sheep, cows or, Heaven forbid, Rabophantts.

Bleet smiled, nodded, but said nothing.

‘I… er… dunno quite what to say,’ stuttered Kevin, finding that even someone with his conversational aptitude, as far as the fairer sex was concerned, could discover himself lost for words from time to time. ‘I mean, this is all… well… so… um… odd. A few seconds ago we were in… in… in… wherever we were… and now we’re ’ere on some sort of desert island with bloody palm trees wanderin’ about. To be honest, I don’t fink I know where I am or what I’m doin’.’ I mean it’s enuff to give a bloke the screamin’ ab dabs,’ he added, surprised that he sounded so emotional.

‘Don’t worry,’ said Bleet softly. ‘It’s quite natural for you to feel a little disorientated. It is only to be expected when you have just travelled ten light years to a galaxy further away from your planet Earth than you ever believed existed and when your previous experience of foreign travel was limited to a one-week break in Torremolinos. Why don’t you just sit down here and take a rest?’ she said, settling down on the sand and beckoning to the tree to come over and give them some shade.

The tree shuffled over. ‘Will this do for your cosy little chat?’ it asked, spreading its branches and sounding peeved at having to stand still and actually look treelike.

‘Very nicely, thank you. Please remain here until I dismiss you,’ replied Bleet sternly in the direction of the tree, which rustled its fronds in annoyance. ‘And could you please turn the sea down to conversational level.’

‘What did your last slave die of?’ hissed the tree.

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